| 1. Shot of boy answering/asking question in class. A shot of the girl is also introduced doing the same thing. Moving shot of boy with doctor, introducing his problem. | It shows the setting of the film and introduces the conflict for the boy. Shows the obstacle also sets the mood for the story. The setting shows a school environment. Backstory of boy’s problem. |
| 2. The bell rings and students exit the rooms. The boy locks eyes with a different girl. | Shows boy’s love interest, emotional conflict. Boy’s goal to try and get the girl and fit in. |
| 3. An emotionally broken boy, eats ice cream at the park and throws it in anger. Boy storms home questioning his existence. | Emotional conflict of boy, and recurring theme of the park and ice cream. Shows boy’s character. Emotionally unstable. Shows time within the film by following boy day to day. |
| 4.The next day/week?, the boy tries his luck again with a different girl. Gets shut down again and starts to blame best friend. | Shows the dwindling relationship of the two friends. Boy’s mental obstacle, can’t accept disability. |
| 5.Boy completely skips the park and doesn't even try to go there. Skips to home, boy already had done damage. | Boy is devolving as a character. |
| 6.Boy doesn't appear to be in any classes, but he’s only late. Friend was worried. | Creates unknown quality of the boy. Creates suspense and a twist. |
| 7. Friend tries to resolve boy’s problem by talking with other girl. Friend tells girl of the boy’s great personality and girl finally see the boy’s true light. | Shows friend trying to resolve the conflict of the boy. Show’s friend’s character. |
| 8.Boy sees friend talking with boy’s love interest. Boy enraged, approaches friend and immediately harasses friend. | Shows boy’s character and his terrible temper. |
| 9. Fight breaks out between boy and best friend, ends with resolution of their friendship. | End of the relationship between two friends. Shows boy’s anger makes him make bad decisions |
| 10.Boy finds note on the bench, eats ice cream and stays. | Boy resolves inner conflict and finds calmness. Discovery of note changes boy’s outlook. |
Sunday, September 30, 2012
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The introduction is a bit confusing, I really didn't understand what you meant by the doctor revealing the backstory in the beginning. So far what i've understood is the delusional tale of a boy wanting to fall in love and fit in. That part i hope was correct, and i sort of understood the ice cream scenes. You trying to reveal the dramatic unsuitability of the character as he continues to court other girls. I do however like the build up to the the climax, with the boy seeing his friend talking to his crush. It seems that the events before that weren't as powerful but most of the emotion can be shown through shot of the character so it's fine i guess. AND OMG THE END. the note at the end? is that from the girl? the friend? the other girl? just be careful of cliffhangers, bigue's not a big fan. =w=
ReplyDeleteI like the use of the ice cream and the park as a sort of signature characteristic of the boy. I think you would further describe the "condition" to avoid confusion. Also introduce these characters. Who is this friend? I didn't quite understand that. Is this friend another main character or just simply meant to propel the story forward? You have everyone developing these different characteristics and I'm finding it hard to follow in your outline. The detail needs a bit more work, and as Kim stated, it would be best to revise that cliffhanger.
ReplyDeleteThis may have potential to be a good short film. The outline itself is rather hazy and hard to understand. Next time i advise you to go into more detail. For example, you mention a doctor and his condition, but you dont mention that its a backstory or separate shot. I was lost because, at first, i thought we were still in a classroom. Otherwise, this is an interesting plot. It covers the idea of miscommunication and how it can act as a problem to others. good concept!
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